Marriage(89)

"The human brain starts working the moment you are born and never stops until you stand up to speak in public."
George Jessel

"I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. First, let her think she's having her own way. And second, let her have it."
Lyndon B. Johnson

"Only choose in marriage a man whom you would choose as a friend if he were a woman."
Joseph Joubert

"Being divorced is like being hit by a Mack truck. If you live through it, you start looking very carefully to the right and to the left."
Jean Kerr

"If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books."
Alan King

"Marriage is nature's way of keeping us from fighting with strangers."
Alan King

"You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet."
Alan King

"Banks have a new image. Now you have 'a friend,' your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?"
Alan King

"More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse."
Doug Larson

"Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl."
Stephen B. Leacock